I'm so sorry that you are reading this as it likely means that someone you love has lost a baby or is going through the difficult journey of infertility. Your heart is possibly having to cope with the pain of your own loss as well as the pain of witnessing your child or loved one's hurt and grief.
This can be such a very difficult time - my heart goes out to you and your family. If you are looking for supportive resources for your loved ones please visit our main resources page and our resources for partners and fathers page.
The collection below includes some ideas to help you be present for your loved ones, with the gentle reminder to take care of your own self in the midst of everything that is going on.
Losing a baby at any time in pregnancy, during or after birth or in the case of infertility before conception or early in pregnancy is extremely hard, both physically and emotionally. Waves of grief and sorrow can arise with such intensity that you may wonder how anyone survives.
Baby loss and infertility are not often spoken about openly in our society and so you might find yourself at a loss, wondering how you can possibly help, what you could do to make things better, how you might be able to reduce the pain that your loved ones are experiencing, or agonizing about why this had to happen?
So often there are no answers. These losses impact us deeply and there is no cure, solution or quick fix. Everyone affected may carry this missing, love, grief and sadness for the rest of their lives, though the intensity and frequency of the many emotions often changes over time.
Reading through these articles and sites and then considering how you can best support your child, family member or friend at this time is the most meaningful thing you can do.
It takes courage to stay present in the face of such pain, but many say that the simple presence of a friend or family member is one of the only things that made a difference in how they were able to cope. On behalf of your loved ones, thank you for caring. It is not easy, but you can do this - your heart and the love that you have will guide you through.
Remember to take care of yourself so that you stay as healthy and well as you can, and pace yourself - this journey can last a long time.
If you have questions or suggestions for new resources please send me an email anytime at [email protected]
If your family's loss is very recent and you are having a hard time knowing what to do, please read this article on immediate self care:
Megan Devine: Rules at Impact - How to Survive Early Grief
Stillbirth and Infant Death
(Also see Partner's Resources for more ideas and perspectives)
The Mothering Your Heart online program provides an extra layer of easy-to-access support in a private workshop space, to help navigate your grief and life after loss.
Weekly encouragement, with supportive messages, suggestions for comfort and self care through the holidays, an understanding community space and there's no cost to join.