This long weekend is full of so many elements that can be difficult for women who are dealing with infertility or who have experienced miscarriage, baby or child loss.
Whatever your beliefs may be, you really can’t turn around without seeing a bit of a mash up of all sorts of symbols of life, fertility and family: feasts, light, eggs, spring colours, flowers, laughter & joy.
Spring was the peak season of pride and delight in our adoption, months before it broke down – I remember having such a strong sense that it was going to work. We were in the swing of things, had that happy-delirious-exhausted glow, and over the Easter weekend we began to introduce our extended family and friends through dinners, gatherings and the pastel hues of egg hunts.
The photos I have of that time are so precious – hope and smiles and warmth, so many dreams were in the process of coming true.
I miss that time more than my heart can say, likely even more so because of all the heartbreak that was to come. For just a moment it felt like we could lay down the grief that we had carried for so long, the pain of losing our babies and all the challenges of the infertility, treatment and losses that followed.
So this weekend I will be thinking about how difficult these holidays are for grieving families. I just want to acknowledge how very hard these days of light and celebration can be for our hearts.
Each one of you should know that you are not alone, I hope you can really feel that – that others are with you in your hurt and heartbreak, that you don’t have to do this by yourself.
I hope you have love and support around you, time to lay low, time for your tears and your memories. I hope your loved ones remember your missed ones with you, knowing that you want nothing more than to have them in your arms, laughing about fuzzy bunnies, cleaning up chocolate stained faces.
I hope you find moments of light this weekend and that your heart is treated gently by those around you.
Peace to you, mamas.