Notes for Your Heart

Mothering Your Heart Blog

8 Ways to Prepare for Mother's Day after Miscarriage, Infertility, Baby Loss or Child Loss (Hint: You can skip Plan A)

When you are a mother to a child who is not in your arms, Mother's Day can be a particularly piercing brand of agony.

And to be as inclusive as possible, acknowledging that it is a hard day and hard time of year for so many people, due to so many differing circumstances.
 
With these words, no disrespect is intended towards any other broken hearts in the world. Life can really hurt. Often more than we think we can bear.

We get it.

Heartbreak is heartbreak. Loss is loss. Grief is grief.

Well, sort of.

For this moment, for the time it takes to read the words to come, you're invited to turn the full light of your empathy on to the hearts that break at dawn each morning for their missing, beloved, hoped and prayed for babies.
 
The hearts that sometimes feel swept under the rug of a society that doesn't really seem to know how to deal with them.
 
And if you count yourself among these hearts, you are welcome if you like to feel all the...
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A Freshish Start

 

Welcome to 2019

And so it begins, moving into this new year, with new light, new transitions and the promise of a freshish start.

Is it just me or does it seem like everyone is kind of in a daze this week? I don't think I've noticed it before to this degree - it seems like 2018 was a harder year than we’ve seen in awhile. If you're here, you know more than most just how true this is.

I've been spending these dazey days re-inventing what I'd like to offer you through MYH this year. The reinvention was complicated slightly by losing power for 5 days over Christmas after a massive windstorm here on Vancouver Island.

What I thought would be a challenging time, of having to step back from the screen and keyboard and all the functions of putting together the new program, ended up turning into a gift - in that I was able to sit and spend time thinking and even writing for hours by candlelight, something I don't ever remember doing. 

The...

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Welcome + Hello

Welcome to the first post shared with this new site.

I'm glad you've found your way here and I hope you'll find a sense of connection and support over the next while.

We gather here for so many painful reasons.

There is beauty here as well.

You may be here because you have experienced infertility, you may have lost your baby at some time during pregnancy, birth or infancy, your child may have died later in childhood or young adulthood or you may have said goodbye to a baby or child due to an adoption breakdown or for any other heartbreaking reason.

My heart is with you as you miss and long for the beloved missing one(s) not in your arms.

You may not have gone through one of these deep losses yourself but may be here because you love someone who has you want to support them. Thank you.

You may be here because you would like to learn more about grief and baby loss, child loss or infertility, or coping with another related loss.

I would love...

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Wave of Light

October 15th: Wave of Light

There is a spark inside our beating hearts that allows us to keep going through the darkest of circumstances, through situations that we could have never imagined once upon a time, through it all.
Knowing that there are so many hearts that do not physically beat here with us on earth at this time, sending waves of love out to each of them, while turning our attention for a moment to those hearts that are beating as we speak.
There is a moment in every child loss, baby loss, all the loss and infertility survivor's stories and aftermath that has me catch my breath, wonder at the simple fact that they are still here, still able to tell their story, still breathing, still able to parent or dream of or remember dreaming of parenting their child(ren) from afar, still surviving.

What immense strength they have, if only they knew.

We see it in others, yet it can be so difficult to see this fact of strength and survival within our own stories. I...
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