The Mothering Your Heart programs provides a private and supportive space for people from different backgrounds, each with their own unique story. Compassion, empathy and respect is encouraged for and by every member.
These programs are not for everyone, so please read through these FAQs and see how you feel.
The MYH programs are for women who have experienced many different kinds of loss. In each program space we honour the fact that every baby, every longing for a baby and every loss is unique and grief is always an individual experience. You may relate right away with the following losses, or you may have experienced a different kind of loss - please contact me if you are unsure about joining.
Basically we try to provide a space where everyone feels included and welcome. What we have in common is that for whatever reason we are not able to hold our babies in our arms, and this includes our 'babies' from pre-conception through childhood.
Once we open our hearts to becoming a mother, our babies always exist in our hearts even though they are not here with us on earth, whatever the circumstances.
Sometimes the language that MYH uses is different than what you are used to or would use to describe your personal situation. We are always open to suggestions and want people to feel comfortable so please feel free to let your facilitator know if there is an issue you would like to be considered.
The Mothering Your Heart programs are offered in a way that aims be inclusive of many types of loss, with communities specific to the general experiences of the members:
- Infertility or unsuccessful fertility treatments including embryo losses
- The death of a baby or babies at any time during pregnancy, labour, birth or after birth
- The death of a child from infancy through childhood
If the descriptions as outlined above and on the program pages resonate with your personal experience you are welcome to join.
These programs aim to create a space that is safe and comfortable for people in many different situations, including those who cannot conceive, so we ask that above all everyone be respectful of each others' experiences.
Guidelines about language are posted and it is suggested that discussions about living children be approached with compassion and sensitivity. This holds true for all the discussions in the community spaces, and we offer communities for people who do and do not have living children.
Because this program has been created to support anyone who has opened their heart to a child or to dreams of a child, and whose child is not in their arms, as discussed above, if your child is not in your arms for whatever reason and you are struggling with that fact, you are welcome and may wish to join one of the infertility support programs.
If you are ever unsure, please ask.
As MYH does not provide a substitute for medical, obstetric or midwifery care, therapy, counselling or other mental health services, you may wish to consider waiting to join until 1-2 months have passed after your loss or until you are medically stable.
Joining earlier is possible and ultimately you are the one who will decide whether you feel you could benefit from the program, but joining too soon may be difficult if you are not quite ready, especially if physically you are still recovering.
You can also cancel anytime if you are not feeling that the program is a good fit. If you have questions, please ask anytime.
Many women join months and years, even decades after their losses happened. Please know you are welcome anytime, and that you will likely know if you feel ready to join this type of program but can cancel anytime.
Absolutely. One of the goals of Mothering Your Heart is to support you in finding out what works for you. Once you sign up you will find the link to join your program, and this is where the community component is hosted. You are free to participate in the discussions anonymously and can read or not read as many of the posts from others as you like.
There is no pressure at any time to participate, and the communities are open only to program members. There is no social media component and you do not have to have any other accounts to log in.
If at any time you have questions please let me know, and know too that you can engage at your own pace and can change your preferences as you go.
People can grieve the death of their babies and children deeply at any age or stage of pregnancy, including before conception in the case of infertility. Your loss is significant to you and that is what matters, just as each of us here have experienced losses that are significant to our own hearts.
MYH encourages members to not judge another's grief experience, regardless of how similar or different their experience is to or from your own. This is moderated in the discussion forum.
This is not a space to offer advice or suggestions on how someone else might manage their experience.
In this space we strive to support and acknowledge that everyone grieves differently and that every loss, every baby, every lost dream matters deeply to someone.
Intense grief and emotional distress including depression, anxiety and traumatic stress is common after infertility and pregnancy, baby or child loss, with additional support often needed.
If you are working with a physician, midwife or mental health care worker (therapist, counsellor, psychologist or psychiatrist), please let them know you are considering taking this program. They (or you) are welcome to contact Mothering Your Heart as needed for more information about the suitability of this program, although it is in essence very similar to an informal support group or online support forum, with no therapy involved.
MYH, as mentioned, is not a replacement for counselling, psychotherapy, therapy, midwifery or medical care. You will be focusing on ways to nurture yourself, explore your understanding of grief and loss, and receiving the support of community if you choose to participate in the discussions.
If you are or are not working with a therapist and/or do not feel emotionally, mentally or physically stable you may wish to discuss this program with your health care provider or access professional help before signing up for this program.
This is completely your choice.
If you are in a crisis and need immediate help, please go to your local hospital emergency room, see a local health care provider or call 911 or your local emergency service, depending what is available in your area.
If none of these are in your community, look up “crisis line” or “suicide hotline” and call, or have a loved one call for you.
Grief can be VERY hard but there are people who want to help and who can walk with you until you begin to feel that you can manage – please call someone right away if you feel that you can't cope any longer.
Because the program spaces and this website are not monitored 24/7 we cannot provide crisis intervention.
You can easily cancel your monthly membership at any time with no penalty. There are generally no refunds for monthly payments already processed but please contact me if you have an exceptional circumstance.
You can change your billing information and cancel your account from within your membership account site.
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